My thirties have been more forgiving and eye opening than I imagined. From getting that nose piercing to having TWO more babies and even moving out of state. I’ve become more acquainted with this newer season of myself in less time than years past…and I love it.
When 33 came along I started embracing bigger decisions, relying more on God’s direction, and doing more soul work than anything else. I worked on not just wishing to achieve goals, but rather write them down and be more accountable. So many tough and great things happened as a result!
Some of my favorites were:
- Adding a baby girl to our family!
- Saying yes to more opportunities with my blog! I was inspired by this post.
- Making space to create more and even cooking from scratch!
“Don’t go through life, grow through life.” – Eric Butterworth
This year in general has been pivotal in several core areas of life. Examining my parenting style, relationships, own traumas, and desire to grow authentically have been intentional space lately. More than ever my personal relationship with God has been the steadying rock.
It’s allowed me to become more vulnerable in expressing myself, navigating boundaries with more ease, and stepping into a mindset of learning everyday. In that, not just loving myself, but enjoying who I am has been unlocked. A contentment amidst the flaws, hangups, and mess – I like who I am.
I’ve had to mourn to rejoice
Shedding dead things is never easy, especially when you don’t realize they’re dead. Carrying the guilt of letting go, even of old carcasses cause sadness. But that a necessary process I’ve embraced in my 30’s. Initially with reluctance, but now with a warmer welcome.
Over this last year I’ve danced with the emotions of anxiety, sadness, and mourning. The loss of spaces and relationships I felt comfortable in, expectations I know couldn’t be met, and realities that I needed to change about myself. My tears stream deeper and weight heavier as I’ve shifted through some seasons of hard growth.
And yet my steps are lighter, my awareness keener, and my spirit desiring more of God and less of who I thought I wanted to be. As I’ve mourned, I’ve rejoiced. I’ve laughed harder, found greater value in less, and have fought more to be a woman of substance and authenticity.
It’s a blessing to be 34 and love who I see today.