Earlier last week Mike asked me on a date to celebrate my birthday. It’s been quite some time since we’ve been able to enjoy a date night with the demands of our schedules and always trying to make sure we soak up all the family time we can have. To say I was pretty excited was an understatement, I mean who wouldn’t be excited about a date night? Later in the week (Mike can’t keep a secret…and I kept asking what should I wear) I found out we were heading to U St Music Hall in DC to see an amazing group I love, KING. I’ve always secretly loved different fashion trends and wanted to wear something fun for our special occasion, plus it’s DC (I didn’t want to do my normal “plain Jane”). My coworker and I went to Goodwill and she found me two phenomenal dresses! I rarely have any luck finding clothes while thrifting, sure I can find things for my house…but clothes are a different story. I realized that on the rack, clothes look horrible until you try them on! I styled one of my thrifted dresses for our date and had a splash of new red lipstick to add a twist. It was a completely new experience for me since it was more of a night club scene than what we expected (we enjoy lounges), but nonetheless it was wonderful. We had a lot of laughs!
Prepping for the date was another story, between Kai running half naked as we both tried to get ready I had to stop and remind myself how precious this time with Mike is and was going to be. Sometimes when we do get time together we don’t take advantage of it, and not because we don’t desire to… we just end up not being intentional. So someone is on the ipad or their phone and the other may be reading a book or half asleep during the late night conversation (that’s usually me haha). Changing my mindset to really enjoy the night regardless of any hiccups or unplanned changes in the night made such a difference for my perfectionist ways. I laughed more, lived in the moment, and was so honored that Mike indulged me in something I enjoy.
Though Mike and I have known each other over eight years (whew!) we are constantly learning about one another, even more so this year of our marriage. Every relationship evolves and going from late nights on the phone, desperately wanting to see one another all day everyday (haha), to newlyweds, and shortly new parents – it’s been a whirlwind of knowing each other and staying sane!
Life has a way of changing you and stripping away those layers that often keep us guarded. I am best with pen and paper and expressing myself verbally is a challenge. It takes a lot of work on my part to share what I love aside from the obvious (crafting) and patience from Mike to pull those deep things that make my heart tick. We are so opposite as he can wear his heart on his sleeve and mine is deep within a cave. As we’ve been finding new ways to genuinely show love to one another I didn’t realize how deeply I felt loved during this date night. Does Mike love big crowds and small spaces…not at all – but we allowed ourselves to be so focused on one another it didn’t matter. I didn’t realize how easily my expectations can keep me from seeing his efforts as well. Coming into our evening with the intention of enjoying one another is exactly what we got out of it.
In this season of our marriage where we have to work harder daily, it rings true that love is not an emotion it is actions that provoke the most wonderful of feelings.