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Graciously Woven

Creatively Living and Sharing Grace

family, Home, motherhood

Reality

June 6, 2014 Leave a Comment


No there is a purpose for me sharing the mess that has consumed “my side” of the room as Mike calls it (especially in this state). I’m not just sharing dirty laundry, though I know the bra sitting on my desk is quite classy haha…

Anytime I’m stressed it doesn’t necessarily show in my attitude, though I become snappy and easily frustrated or worried about the smallest of things…it really shows in my home. When I’m freaking out or feeling like I have no idea how I’m going to make it through this week I become extremely reckless with staying tidy and neat. Dishes pile up (as I secretly wait for the only other adult in the home to wash them…), I throw all the clothes that I can’t wear around, and everything is “dirty” so the laundry becomes a monster in itself. I’m so consumed by my emotions I can’t keep up with anything let alone anyone really.

This week was strange. I try and keep my work life out of my blog, simply because it’s not something I care to discuss even with my husband. I’ve enjoyed working in the social work field, but after having a child of my own I can’t stomach some of the images and realities I deal with… In some ways I guess I carry the shame of the cases I know I cannot change. I’m a lover at heart and to see someone not being loved I take it personally (which is so unhealthy). It’s the hardest thing about working in reality. Most days I’m not surrounded by beautiful lattes or gorgeous scenery after a brisk walk with my son. Life looks a lot more like that mess and I don’t know how to handle it always… no one wants to see a mess right? Who talks about it? This week I realized I need to talk more about it, and not in that depressing crying over a bowl of ice cream type of way…

When we start falling apart some people use humor to cope with it, others explode, and many people like me internalize it as it’s expressed through the private and intimate areas of our lives. Most of these ways aren’t necessarily healthy, but we all find a way to deal with it. Eventually I clean up the mess and wash the dishes that only I see in the sink, because it’s my responsibility. Though reality carries so many responsibilities the worst thing I allow myself to believe among many others is that you have to carry it alone. No you can’t change everything, but most effective change starts within you.

I encourage you as I continue to learn myself to not believe that you have to do it alone. Reality is taxing and so are the loads you carry, but I feel the strongest when I am connected with someone who can encourage me to push through. Who will allow me to cry when I know I can’t change a child’s situation or remind me that all the parts of my life bring value and substance to who I am. I hope you have that person and if not I am gladly around dear friend.

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Carmen | Truth & Grace Living
Let’s talk about shame... When the Lord started Let’s talk about shame...

When the Lord started walking me through how my approach to correcting behavior started to look more like shaming... it was humbling and convicting. 

Many times my desire to correct overrides any opportunity to understand and walk through the challenge together. 

When I yell, dismiss, or even explode at what they shouldn’t be doing - I communicate shame rather than offering wise counsel. Especially with abstract concepts that deal with the heart like lying, pride, anger...

It hit me most when I yelled at my angry child for lashing out 👀 - as I watched myself I felt the Lord nudge me with how can you correct sin while sinning? 

... oh the embarrassment, but the chance to do better.

Quieting my own self and taking it in, because conviction makes room for growth not shame. 

I’ve asked the Lord more and more to calm my voice with the intent of allowing true change as I parent. Praying my heart is bent more to seeing how God restores and transforms our behaviors to reflect true goodness. Rather than a God who shames as they see me shame them. #christinmotherhood
Mila is the mood as I sit and am so grateful for e Mila is the mood as I sit and am so grateful for each of you engaging me in this process. Thank you for being present in the messy parts too as I navigate this season. 

I continue to be so thankful for this community - and I pray I can lend a listening ear and support as much as you are to me ♥️ #beautyincommunity
“Mom he has pom pom hair and there’s animals!! “Mom he has pom pom hair and there’s animals!!” 😍

We have another budding reader in the house!!! I love reading and finding books that encourage our kids to enjoy the same I’m all for it!! 

Being able to find books that are not only personalized but allow my kids to see themselves in the story is even better!!! 

@lionstory.books gifted us this beautiful book all about Izaiah making a change for animals - which is his THING! 

They have a variety of stories and options to make your book special. Thanks to their team you can use code: CARMEN50 for 50% off your own book! 

Check them out parents of growing readers! We love what they’re doing ♥️ #homeschoolmama #growingreadersforlife
Everyone then who hears these words of mine and do Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. Matthew 7:24

There’s power in praying our family grows in God’s word and even more as we see ways to apply it daily. I’ve come to realize there’s a spiritual home we’ve been called to build it looks like this family.

In our character, how we reflect Christ, and how we model that for our kids - even invite them to do the same.

I started working on this portrait of us and wanted to symbolize how we’re planted. When times have been their hardest - it’s been God’s word that’s sustained us. #foundationinchrist
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