This is a bit more of a personal post, however I’m okay with that. I’m not crazy about birth control…but I come from a line of fertile myrtles.
So to take precautions I decided to use the Nuva Ring right when getting married since it was the least invasive way and I don’t do well with taking pills (I forget to put my underwear on most days…) however, I ended up having some complications (cramping, insane mood swings, etc) so we decided it was best to just stop (or kill each other) and be cautious (insert laugh). A few months later we were unexpectedly expecting our little man (no surprise haha).
So when coming closer to my due date I planned with my OB about using the Mirena (IUD). I know a few people who have it and seem to have no complications with it. I was a bit reluctant considering it is a foreign object in my body let alone nothing is 100%… But I didn’t want to unexpectedly expect again in a completely new financial situation. So I had it placed in with little to no issues initially…until recently.
After hitting my year mark of having this IUD I started having some really bad cramping and intense back pain. I mean like curl into a ball and shut the lights off some times. Not only that my spotting became more of an odd cycle that was sporadic. I figured it was just a part of my body adjusting, but it wasn’t/hasn’t gone away – to the point I went to urgent care last night because I was in so much pain.
Note I do have a decent pain threshold, but some serious fears started to come to me especially about what if this is affecting my ability to conceive again (a genuine fear of mine). So some tests were ran and aside from not expecting right now it was concluded that it is in fact my IUD….
So today I’m headed back to have it removed and I’m nervous but relieved. Nervous cause I don’t know what to expect…relieved because hopefully this pain will stop.
We all have different ways of trying to control parts of our lives so that they fit into our plans… My own fears of being irresponsible (by society’s standards and my own foolish biases) and having another child that I felt we couldn’t take care of because we’re getting out of debt, we just moved into a new place, our lives seemed so unstable – how could I add more fuel to the fire?
Why do I worry over things that I really shouldn’t be controlling? Or at least allowing room for the unexpected? I’m not saying this mishap with my birth control is punishment by any means…I’m just thinking of when I try and do things in myself it doesn’t turn out at all how I hope.
So much to think about this upcoming year…and not making decisions out of fear is one of mine.
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