• About
    • Let’s Work Together
    • collaboration post. sponsored post
  • Family
    • homeschool
    • marriage
    • motherhood
  • Home & Life
    • recipes
    • travel
  • Start A Blog

Graciously Woven

Creatively Living and Sharing Grace

children, motherhood

Motherhood: Redemption [Part I]

March 30, 2015 Leave a Comment

I was in that place again..that one where I felt overwhelmed, alone, and ready to quit. I remember sitting with Mike one night and telling him I was okay with walking away from it all and this life. As difficult as it was to say I found myself trying to be as confident and nonchalant in my words, because I was so assured that there was nothing else to look forward to. Was I disregarding my role as a mother and wife? Or just being selfish as Mike looked into my eyes and told me how could I only think of myself? But you can’t explain irrationality to a rational heart when it feels like darkness is all around you. Someone once shared with me that it’s hard to deal with darkness, because it’s sticky – when you think you’ve cleaned off one area you find it somewhere else…and I found my mind so clouded with stickiness nothing could eradicate its existence.

This dark cloud hadn’t made such a presence in many years, to say I was prepared would be fooling myself and those who know me best. Dealing with seasons of depression were behind me I chanted – I’ve dealt and moved on. What brought it on… I couldn’t pin point it. I sat in my quiet thoughts one night as I had started feeling the physical effects of this storm cloud and found myself sick often for several weeks. Fighting between plans and logic of letting go and what I know to be truth in God’s word – truth in my own life.

We had tried for months to have another child with no success, I took it as a sign and when the nurse told me I wasn’t expecting I knew for sure laying with eyes closed that I didn’t need to keep pushing on in this manner. A storm, a body failing with no real medical reason, and most of all the weight of work was most definitely a recipe for me to stay in bed with covers over my head to hide my angry and worn tears… then you appeared. Right as I told myself if I’m not pregnant then I can let this storm overtake me and I won’t fight this time. I’m tired…

No free spirit desires to be caged or confined…having their wings clipped by life’s circumstances knowing that there is so much more to this life. to my life.

Truth is there has been a deep redemption in these last several months as I await your arrival. Just as your brother caused me to look long and hard in the mirror as a 25 year old naive young woman, you now cause me to do the same – but with eyes opened in a way that has ground against those inner parts I didn’t know were hidden (even from myself).

to be continued…
Previous:
Our Nest: Refinishing Furniture
Next:
Motherhood Spotlight: A Story of Adoption and Pursuit of Cultural Connection

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Social

Subscribe Here!

Facebook

Facebook

Affiliates

Blog Meets Brand

graciouslywoven

Carmen | Truth & Grace Living
“Mom he has pom pom hair and there’s animals!! “Mom he has pom pom hair and there’s animals!!” 😍

We have another budding reader in the house!!! I love reading and finding books that encourage our kids to enjoy the same I’m all for it!! 

Being able to find books that are not only personalized but allow my kids to see themselves in the story is even better!!! 

@lionstory.books gifted us this beautiful book all about Izaiah making a change for animals - which is his THING! 

They have a variety of stories and options to make your book special. Thanks to their team you can use code: CARMEN50 for 50% off your own book! 

Check them out parents of growing readers! We love what they’re doing ♥️ #homeschoolmama #growingreadersforlife
Everyone then who hears these words of mine and do Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. Matthew 7:24

There’s power in praying our family grows in God’s word and even more as we see ways to apply it daily. I’ve come to realize there’s a spiritual home we’ve been called to build it looks like this family.

In our character, how we reflect Christ, and how we model that for our kids - even invite them to do the same.

I started working on this portrait of us and wanted to symbolize how we’re planted. When times have been their hardest - it’s been God’s word that’s sustained us. #foundationinchrist
As I reflect on today, I’m most thankful that be As I reflect on today, I’m most thankful that because of the work done for social justice and continuously happening now, there are resources to celebrate diversity.

Growing up there were 2 options for hair - having “good hair” or achieving “good” hair through relaxers. Natural hair was reserved for mixed girls who had bouncy curls and length. I constantly wished to be “that” mixed girl, instead of seeing the gorgeousness of who I am.

Developing the confidence to love all of me and the hair that I have took years. Lots of tears and redefining beauty. 

I’m so grateful that our boys don’t have to wish for anything other than who they are. Being able to celebrate beautiful natural hair in all its texture has built confidence in them that’s priceless. 

So today I’m celebrating and thanking @youngkinghaircare for making even more space to diversify natural hair for little kings like mine. To remind them that there is value in exactly who they are ♥️ and WE SEE YOU!! 

The ability to find these hair products on storefront shelves now in Target is beyond amazing for our family. 

If you haven’t checked them out - PLEASE DO!! We love the product and the family behind it! #makedreamsreal #naturalhairboys
If we can gift our kids anything - quality time ov If we can gift our kids anything - quality time overrides it all.

Staying intentionally present and less annoyed at the little things. Also taking out my Nikon more this month 📷 

Captured with my 35mm #momswithnikons #sundayvibes
Load More... Follow on Instagram
2021 Graciously Woven 2018. All Rights Reserved. Design by SkyandStars.co
Back Top

Copyright © 2021 · YOON Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in