Motherhood: A Variety of Friends
I’m completely convinced that you need a solid group of friends that help you maintain your sanity…especially as a mom. I don’t think I can count the number of times I’ve almost lost my crap only to be reminded that it’s just a season, it’s okay to yell, your kids won’t die (not today), and you’re freakin awesome at this mom thing.
But I think the mistake many moms, including myself make once we step into motherhood is feeling like ALL my friends need to be moms too now. Because no one gets you like another mother…right? In many ways there’s truth to that, but ever find yourself cutting really great friendships off simply because they don’t seem to “fit” anymore? Shamefully I raise my hand, as I’ve felt bad cancelling, not wanting to clean my house haha, or just not sure what to talk about with my “no kids” friends.
Over time, I’ve found a good balance and thanked those that have embraced my crazy boys while trying to have an adult conversation or excused my mess as someone just pooped in the wrong place or farts in their face (life with boys)… It’s been nice to find how my variety of friends have kept all sides of my personality and life alive with the friendship I enjoy from each of them. As I sat and read other blogs about the top friends you need to survive I’ve made my own list! I’d love to know if you agree too.
1. The Veteran Mom Friend: This is the mom who has at least one more kid than you or older kids. They’re the ones who remind you dirt is edible, don’t fuss over everything, and you’ll survive this stage of tantrums. They provide wisdom and encourage you to give yourself a very healthy dose of grace when you feel like you’re missing the mark. This is the mom that is also you’re go-to mobile pediatrician when you need to triage a situation.
2. The Trendsetter Friend: They are traveling, staying up passed 9:30PM, and have the best stories that keep you not so “momish.” The friend who you can chat away with at whatever you’re binge watching and remind yourself that you’re still you even though motherhood is very much a part of your life now. This friend nudges you to take a few risks every now and then along with keeping you dreaming as well. Also you can sometimes vicariously live through their season and still get sufficient sleep!
3. The Fellow Mom Friend: You’re both moms with kids around the same age. You can cry, laugh, and talk about all things motherhood without feeling like it’s “too much mom talk.” This is the friend that gets you in your season, doesn’t care what your house looks like, and laughs when you both have stained shirts when you hang out. The one who will take your kids, change their diapers, and let’s you in on a shared motherhood experience. This mom has a special bond and a sense of vulnerability that you both connect with.
4. The Take Care of You Friend: Every mom needs this friend. A friend or friends that usually don’t have kids, but love yours like your own. Yet they have a healthy dose of boundaries to keep in check that you need you time! They’re the ones that help you take breaks and are great for adult conversation sans kids. The ones that hound you until you schedule a simple dinner date or hangout to replenish your soul. You always leave feeling better after your time together.
These are just a few, because I know that we all get to enjoy this motherhood journey in a unique and special way. From my veteran moms to my trendsetter friends I love the mix that’s in my life. They all touch on the myriad of pieces that make up who I am and keep me sane when I need it most. I hope your community is as diverse and full as I’ve been able to enjoy. Motherhood and womanhood is all about your tribe…make it an incredible one friend.