The other day I walked around Target and nursed…I had a cover which I prefer to use, but it felt natural. I remember hiding in a bathroom many a time with Kai, nursing him and feeling so uncomfortable not because of breastfeeding, but because it seemed to make others uncomfortable. Even as we strolled around the store the other day I had a few stares and a father even moved his child away from where we were, but honestly I didn’t care too much. For once I felt comfortable as a mother and in my own skin to not think twice and take care of my little one (because in this motherhood journey it’s easy to think of what others may say and or think about how you mother…am I right?). There is a sense of freedom and easiness as I realize who I want to be as my kids’ mother and the tangible way I live my life that I know they will emulate themselves.
I’m not a huge advocate for not wearing a cover or at least positioning your clothes to be covered (I don’t like to show my boobs anyways…at home it’s a different story), but I am always amazed at how much we as mothers will adjust to make those around us feel more at ease when it comes to breast feeding publicly. Though I carry a bottle with me of pumped milk, I still hate having to use it (liquid gold is a labor of love). Maybe by nature we want to create an environment that is welcoming, because as women we do that well… I don’t know, but I’m so glad I made sure first Titus had the best environment snuggled and nursing that day. I felt empowered putting him first, the same way I often do when I make sure Kai is taken care of before anything else. Seems to bring me the most joy.
I look forward to more moments that pave this type of motherhood for me. Whether nursing or standing up to the bully on the playground, I think that’s the best type of mom and woman I can be for myself and for them.
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