• About
    • Let’s Work Together
    • collaboration post. sponsored post
  • Family
    • homeschool
    • marriage
    • motherhood
  • Home & Life
    • recipes
    • travel
  • Start A Blog
    • Grace Woven Blogging 101

Graciously Woven

Creatively Living and Sharing Grace

Uncategorized

An Ode to Miriam

March 17, 2014 Leave a Comment

My Grandparents

I took a break from writing this post, simply because I needed time to think and really process it all. Unfortunately, due to some unforeseen circumstances, I took on the task of caring for my grandmother while my own mother was tending to her unexpected health issues (hospital stay included). The last time I saw my grandmother (abuela) was just a few weeks ago after she had a fall that caused a significant decline in her health. Who I saw was not the same person. Sure I’ve known that she has dementia and have been watching the slow effects of it take its course. And I know that age has opened the door to more diagnoses and health issues than previous years. Yes she is blind in one eye and is not as mobile as before, but this woman I really didn’t know. Sitting with her that evening I stroked her hair and cried, I couldn’t hold back the tears as she stared off to something beyond me. Her speech was slurred and she jumped from one subject to the next, not knowing who I was and then remembering briefly. Mainly speaking Spanish, she didn’t even comprehend my attempted responses. Needless to say reality set deep within me that night. I cried on the way home, Mike held my hand and I didn’t speak much…what was there to say?

So when my dad called to ask for help with abuela I knew I needed to take the time off, especially since my mother wasn’t able to even care for herself at the moment. With Kai in tow, we arrived shortly after noon. She was propped on the sofa upstairs watching some Hispanic drama on t.v. The next several hours were ones I don’t want to forget. Aside from juggling Kai until he surrendered to nap time, every moment seemed to be a mix of emotions. At times our brief conversation seemed so clear, then she would doze off and completely forget what she said. Often repeating herself and telling me how delicious the coffee I made her was, most of our time was spent with long pauses and broken pieces of who she once was. She asked me if certain people were stopping by or assigned tasks to random children playing outside. I didn’t cry this time. Truthfully I was too exhausted. By the time my parents returned home from having tests done on my mother, I felt ashamed and saddened that this is what everyday looked like now for my mom. Ashamed in the sense that I had no idea.

Clinging on to the fact that you take care of family…I just didn’t realize it looked like this. Picking up a frail and fragile body, assisting to go to the restroom, hand feeding, bathing, comforting, and somewhat normalizing the road of their aging is hard. It’s a type of hard that bears on your soul and your body. My mother is a strong woman. Stands at 5’11” and has a heart of gold, but even the strongest cannot bear this type of weight alone. I’m still sorting through my emotions from just one day…how do you sort through them daily? I’m not sure if you can.

Mom I write this to you and in honor of other daughters who are caring for their mothers now. Struggling through the guilt of being exhausted from the intensity of care, but holding fast to the truth that no one will ever care for her like you do. I understand why you don’t want to place your mother into a nursing home…I get it. You’re a wonderful mother and I know there is a beauty and blessing that she has you for a daughter. I still feel various emotions and my thoughts are jumbled simply because it’s one of those moments in life you have to experience to understand. Some of you have, and it’s a place that not many people can uplift your spirits in. My heart goes out to you and your love is not in vain.


An Ode to Miriam… I appreciate you more than these words could express.

Previous:
Be Encouraged
Next:
Anniversary Gift Guide: For Him

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

blog introduction and information

Social

Subscribe Here!

Facebook

Facebook

Affiliates

Blog Meets Brand

graciouslywoven

Carmen | Truth & Grace Living
Let’s talk about shame... When the Lord started Let’s talk about shame...

When the Lord started walking me through how my approach to correcting behavior started to look more like shaming... it was humbling and convicting. 

Many times my desire to correct overrides any opportunity to understand and walk through the challenge together. 

When I yell, dismiss, or even explode at what they shouldn’t be doing - I communicate shame rather than offering wise counsel. Especially with abstract concepts that deal with the heart like lying, pride, anger...

It hit me most when I yelled at my angry child for lashing out 👀 - as I watched myself I felt the Lord nudge me with how can you correct sin while sinning? 

... oh the embarrassment, but the chance to do better.

Quieting my own self and taking it in, because conviction makes room for growth not shame. 

I’ve asked the Lord more and more to calm my voice with the intent of allowing true change as I parent. Praying my heart is bent more to seeing how God restores and transforms our behaviors to reflect true goodness. Rather than a God who shames as they see me shame them. #christinmotherhood
Mila is the mood as I sit and am so grateful for e Mila is the mood as I sit and am so grateful for each of you engaging me in this process. Thank you for being present in the messy parts too as I navigate this season. 

I continue to be so thankful for this community - and I pray I can lend a listening ear and support as much as you are to me ♥️ #beautyincommunity
“Mom he has pom pom hair and there’s animals!! “Mom he has pom pom hair and there’s animals!!” 😍

We have another budding reader in the house!!! I love reading and finding books that encourage our kids to enjoy the same I’m all for it!! 

Being able to find books that are not only personalized but allow my kids to see themselves in the story is even better!!! 

@lionstory.books gifted us this beautiful book all about Izaiah making a change for animals - which is his THING! 

They have a variety of stories and options to make your book special. Thanks to their team you can use code: CARMEN50 for 50% off your own book! 

Check them out parents of growing readers! We love what they’re doing ♥️ #homeschoolmama #growingreadersforlife
Everyone then who hears these words of mine and do Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. Matthew 7:24

There’s power in praying our family grows in God’s word and even more as we see ways to apply it daily. I’ve come to realize there’s a spiritual home we’ve been called to build it looks like this family.

In our character, how we reflect Christ, and how we model that for our kids - even invite them to do the same.

I started working on this portrait of us and wanted to symbolize how we’re planted. When times have been their hardest - it’s been God’s word that’s sustained us. #foundationinchrist
Follow on Instagram
2021 Graciously Woven 2018. All Rights Reserved. Design by SkyandStars.co
Back Top

Copyright © 2021 · YOON Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in